Give me your hardest struggles.

Give me a struggle harder than that elevator ride back home from work, where I was certain I was gonna jump when I get up home. Then give me a slight drizzle when I go out in the balcony—even god is weeping that I’m coming to him. 

Give me a struggle harder than to survive massive debt. The kind you gave me when I ate biscuits as meals for weeks. Then flourish me with abundance for years.

Give me a struggle harder than the silence with the person I loved. The kind when I got bored and stopped talking or showing interest. Then give me the courage to tell them the same, quickly, to honour the love that was ever there.

Give me a struggle harder than the sleepless nights away from home. The kind where no person, no book, no movie, no thought lured me to sleep. Then give me a call from Mother, in that exact moment.

Give me a struggle harder than being surrounded by snakes. The kind where I’m taken advantage of, fake loved, lied to, misguided. Then give me the allowance to cut them all at once. 

Give me a struggle harder than being cheated on. The kind where I felt less. Then give me the courage to walk away. 

Give me a struggle harder than to survive myself. The kind where it hurt so much I could no longer bear it. The kind where I pondered what is it I’m running from. The kind where I almost bailed on myself, multiple times. Then give me the nerve to wait a bit longer. To hear someone out. To reach out to a loved one, difficult as there were so few. To give myself a chance.

Give me another.

And keep giving me your hardest struggles.

I’ll deal with it.

After all,

I’m a man.